if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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