Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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