I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
