So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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