If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
