she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
