Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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