I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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