Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
