I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Someone signed my nipple.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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