We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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