When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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