We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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