my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
