Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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