just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
