Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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