My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
