I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
