So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
