we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Randomize
