Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
