i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
