who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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