I'm going to jail i love you
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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