dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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