I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
