Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
