thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
