i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
