i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
