so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
