ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
