there was a trapeze. enough said
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
