in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
