battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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