Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
