Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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