you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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