"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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