Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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