All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He better not be in your backpack
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
