I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
