can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize