They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
