just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he told me I talked like a deaf person
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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