just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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