Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
