Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
