Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
