Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
