You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
