Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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