The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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