Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
