lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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