well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
