I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
